“That’s suicidal bullshit, Lucy. "I believe I'll tear them up. “I ought never have gone to the Zoo, I suppose. Wood, despair will come over me; and, dear as this babe is to me, far dearer than my own wretched life, which I would lay down for him any minute, I have prayed to Heaven to remove him, rather than he should grow up to be a man, and be exposed to his father's temptations—rather than he should live as wickedly and die as disgracefully as his father. Then he would come along the laboratory, sitting down by each student in turn, checking the work and discussing its difficulties, and answering questions arising out of Russell’s lecture. "When did you see him, my love?" "A short time ago," replied the housekeeper, unsuspiciously. In this spy theory, however, he had no faith whatsoever. She fell into another slumber, one which was more like a blackout. The little streaks upon the germinating area of an egg, the nervous movements of an impatient horse, the trick of a calculating boy, the senses of a fish, the fungus at the root of a garden flower, and the slime upon a sea-wet rock—ten thousand such things bear their witness and are illuminated. I'll lay my life he's gone.
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