"What's that?" "The old human cry of something for nothing; but with you it is in reverse. 132 “I thought you wanted me—you told me so when we kissed in the park!” He cried. Far away there was the one woman for this boy of mine—some human being who would understand the dear fool better than all the rest of the world. And here he was first visited by that genius which, in his subsequent career, prompted him to so many bold and successful attempts. But it’s very beastly. I desire, Sir, you'll recollect yourself. Why didn’t I die? Why does God hate me so? Why does He not want me? I didn’t die because I’m weak, because I am cursed! I hate this poisoned world! But most of all. And like that gospel it meant something, something different from its phrases, something elusive, and yet something that in spite of the superficial incoherence of its phrasing, was largely essentially true. Part of her felt like laughing insanely at how badly she had been duped. Do not remain with me.
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