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But his astonishment would have been great indeed had he known that not even her father had ever caressed her, either with lips or with hands. She brought her hands up to her head and ripped out two long chunks of her hair, pulling out shreds of scalp. But she certainly remembered that when she was a little girl he sometimes wore tennis flannels, and also rode a bicycle very dexterously in through the gates to the front door. She was afraid people would follow her, she was afraid of the dark, open doorways she passed, and afraid of the blazes of light; she was afraid to be alone, and she knew not what it was she feared.

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